Now I’m in my late 30s, the topic of sex drive post-35 is my lived experience! I know that once we women reach our mid-30s, our careers are often in full swing, we might be juggling one or two young children, we’re maybe renovating our dream home, or trying to tackle an additional passion project outside of work – all in all, we are busy and we are tired! It’s no surprise we’re lacking in energy.
The thing is – none of these factors that are making us busy and tired are going anywhere, they’re all here to stay, and will possibly even amplify and grow and intensify in our 30s and 40’s. And we don’t want any of these factors to go away – this is living life to the fullest – it’s just a shame our sex drive seems to slip out of the picture so easily. So, when it comes to your sex drive after 35, what’s a woman to do? How can you turn the clock back to make sure you’re still having a healthy sex life?
I’m going to super simplify this right down – I know you’re pressed for time. If you follow my suggestions you should have your juicy sex drive back.
How your sex drive changes after 35
It’s important to note that the nature of your sexual desire, from a biological standpoint, once you’re 35 and up shifts and changes.
Before 35 your desire is driven primarily by the biological impetus to reproduce. You should be experiencing libido peaks around ovulation, when your body is tipping you to have sex at the optimal time to get pregnant. The desire should feel physical, and unavoidable. Testosterone and estrogen peaks around ovulation to create the ultimate love potion.
After 35, your body is not as strongly driven in this direction. Instead of your body keying you to want sex, you may find you need to key your body to want sex and that kind of desire comes from your relationship with your partner and creating a sexy situation for your desire to grow. Your need to set the scene will take precedent, as will the need for foreplay. If your hormones (estrogen, progesterone and testosterone) are in balance then you will still have that physically-sourced desire, but if those hormones are out of balance, this can lead to a steep drop in your sex drive.
There are two ways you can keep your desire at a healthy level, regardless of how that desire changes. Your sex drive should still be present and accessible to you after 35, and you should feel interested in and open to the possibility. The way to keep that interest alive is to give your body what it needs to boost the hormones that power your libido. It’s also about making sure you have the energy. If you’re just plain tired all of the time and have no energy then it won’t matter to you how much you feel you are interested – you’d rather be in the bath with a good book or asleep than having sex.
How to boost your sex drive after 35
There are two focus points for keeping your energy levels up and maintaining a healthy sex drive after 35. By honing in on these elements each day with the right foods, supplements and routines, you will really help yourself to have a great sex life far beyond 35.
Stabilize your blood sugar – keeping your blood sugar stable throughout the day will keep your energy up into the evening and prevent that 7pm couch crash. Eat every two hours, avoid sugars and most sugar substitutes, and detox from coffee and try a maca root-infused smoothie instead. Imagine your blood sugar level as a calm horizon line – you want to avoid as many waves and spikes in that line as possible. Waves and spikes mean dips and crashes and these pummel your energy levels, leaving you falling asleep 20 minutes into that romantic comedy you really wanted to watch for date night. Stable insulin levels also lead to balanced cortisol and DHEA ratios that increase testosterone production, and make you feel sexier.
Prioritize good sleep – I can’t say it enough, you need good sleep, and especially when you have so much to handle (what’s that old adage? If you have time to meditate – meditate for 10 minutes. If you have no time to meditate – meditate for an hour). The only way you can be at your optimal best, for your family, your friends, and your boss, is if you are well-rested. Follow my tried-and-tested sleep hygiene protocol. As someone who’s mom to a 2 year-old and living in the middle of Manhattan (the city that never sleeps!) – believe me, my advice on this really works! Good sleep improves your insulin response (see my point above re: blood sugar!), keeps your cortisol levels in check, and stimulates your body to produce good levels of testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone. The better your levels of these hormones, the more you will experience your natural libido.
Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!